Problems, as we all know, are a reality of living.
Life can be unpredictable and will most certainly be stressful at one point or another.
But it is how we respond to changes and solve a problem that have the most impact and influence to the quality of our lives, as opposed to the actual problem itself.
In my practice as a Psychotherapist, I have worked with many individuals and families of all ages, ranging from issues as harrowing as psychological trauma in small children to more commonplace issues such as conflict in the workplace, or dating and relationship issues.
Over the years, I have come to realize that a problem is a problem, relative to the unique context of a person’s life and individual phenomenology.
Which is to say that they exist – or do not exist – based on our own personal circumstances and subjective experiences of life.
No matter what our individual circumstances are, there are things that all of us can do – whether we struggle with mental illness, extremely difficult living conditions, anxiety, depression, or just plain old boredom – to promote our psychological and emotional well-being, and therefore the quality of our lives.
I call these the 4 pillars of LIFE:
Surviving summer, oh boy!
At this time of year, one of the most asked questions I get from parents is, “What can we do to make sure everyone has a good summer?”
Over the years I’ve compiled many lists, but each teen, and scenario, can be dramatically different.
However, I’ve found that these 6 “Secrets” almost always result in less consequences, and more fun, allowing parents and teens alike to continue surviving summer.
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Validation is one of the most important elements to learn before parenting any child.
Validation allows your child to feel seen, heard, and accepted and to know that what they say matters and is understood.
The first time I can recall the purpose of validation as a parent, was when my son was eleven years old.
We had just spent the day at Universal Studios as a family, and we were having dinner in a restaurant when my son blurted out:
“There is no point in living.
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Sometimes you are so low that you don’t know how to pick yourself up.
All you want to do is crawl in a corner and die.
Most days are like that for my son.
Carrying the weight of depression on my back, a heavy obstacle to overcome. Looking for a place to set it down and clamber over, but I can’t find the right spot. I don’t know what to do. How will I move past this?–Matthew’s journals
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We live in a world of paradoxical attitudes toward food, eating and body size.
On one hand, we are told we need to be slim down because being overweight is bad for our heath.
But, a moment later, when we order a regular latte, its sheer size (without counting on the contents of the drink) could feed and quench the thirst of an entire family of eight.
No matter how old we are, we value good friendships.
Even at a young age, friendships are important to us- but the closer we get to the teenage years, the more valuable our friendship become.
Some of our children seem to instinctively know how to be a good friends and how to form true friendships.
Other children and teens need a little bit of help navigating this part of their life!
15 Friendship Rules we can teach our children and teens:
A living nightmare…
Amanda glanced at the clock on her night stand… 1:09 a.m. For weeks she hadn’t really slept and tonight was dreading a second-period algebra test in the morning. But that wasn’t the worst of it… staring at her phone, she debated whether to turn it back on. Ben, an upperclassman with whom she shared a Spanish class, had become obsessed with her.
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