The butterfly project – Cutting: Part 3

Since my last post on cutting I received many comments.

Some of them were not easy to read for me, increasing my awareness to this difficult issue of self-injury.

Thank you all for sharing your personal stories or general knowledge.

According to “parenting.org”, approximately one out of every eight people engages in some form of self-injury, it’s most popular among adolescents, and many people are introduced to it through social media and peer groups.

I find this to be amazing!

This post is for all the readers interested in this subject:

I will not dive any deeper into what you can all read in the internet yourselves, however for those of you who are new to this I would like to share with you “the butterfly project”.

I am not sure how or when it started, it may be a personal initiative of a Tumbler blogger, but if anyone has different info I will love to know.

The butterfly project suggests the following, to cope with a strong desire to cut your body:

1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker or pen and draw a butterfly on wherever the self-harm occurs.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone who really wants you to get better.
3. NO scrubbing the butterfly off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, it dies. if you don’t cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one, cutting kills them all.
6. Another person may draw them on you. these butterflies are extra special. take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

This project seems to have crossed countries virally, and in many countries teens are drawing butterflies on their bodies if cutting, or in order to show support in their friends who cut.

I wish you all, and myself, a good job in this parenting duty we have chosen… Good luck!

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Teens Cutting – part 2

In my first post about this subject,  I wrote how I found out that, while I was sleeping, a new teens “trend” has started, cutting the body. ( To read my last post click here)

While I was doubtful at first, I soon discovered that the web is full of various “How to stop cutting” advises.

I will reffer to these later, but first I need to admit that the question troubling me the most is: What is the reason for this issue to become so popular lately?

The only thing I could think about is that Facebook is giving the cutting a real boost. While before, girls (and boys also, as I learned) who “cut”, maybe discussed this with close friends, today they discuss it with hundreds. The other side of this is that they get a lot of attention and feedback in Facebook, as I saw in all these “Don’t hurt yourselves” groups. Is it possible that the new attention is helping to spread this out? Can it also be that teens that before would not even think about cutting are getting new ideas? Maybe they like the attention as well?

For sure, for most of the “cutters” this is a pain killer affect.

A very good article that summarizes this penomenon is  here

They confirm that the “cutters” age is getting younger and younger, and mention 11 – 12 years old.

So much for me doubting my daughter’s story.

At the next post I will share several “How to stop cutting” advises that I could find.

And most important: Parental awareness – please be aware to various signs that your kids are in trouble.

See if they are wearing long sleeves when they shouldn’t.

Don’t panic if you learn that your kid cuts, it not a suicidal attempt.

And go get help!

The Scary World of Tweens – Cutting

It was an evening last week when I learned that my Tween, a very sensitive and empathic girl, is chatting with a friend who is, at the same time over the phone with another friend escorting the local police searching for another (fourth) friend suspected of trying to commit suicide, per her FB.

In case you’ve lost me, this is the situation: My kid is sitting on her bed trembling and crying, while I am staring at her I-pad unbelievably, chat lines running extremely fast saying:  “Diane is not at the living room… wait, looking for her at the kitchen…not there! Perhaps she already did it! Wait, the police is entering the bathroom… Here she is! She is alive! She tried to kill herself!” Etc.

Once I was sure that Diane (which my daughter is not familiar with) is ok, and that her parents are aware of what’s happening in their house, I was available to take care of my Tween.

It was only then that I started to understand what my daughter’s world is made of:

She told me about girls trying to take their lives (as far as I understood she is daily exposed to that through FB), and about many girls around “cutting”.

Cutting?

I mean, most of us have heard about certain situations in which girls are engaged in self harm, but hey, am I the only one around who didn’t know that this has lately become a trend?

Quote – “Mom, do you expect me to believe that you’ve never seen all these girls whose arms are covered in the summer???”

Sorry, no…never!

I insisted, and learned that many of her FB friends, including some she personally knows (at least one is a good friend) “cut”.

Then she showed me theses endless FB groups called  “Don’t hurt yourself” etc., where many girls are discussing this (As, “yesterday I cut a lot”!)

I was a Tween before (long ago, I admit). I don’t recall that my world was full of suicidal attempts and of girls cutting. How did it become so frightening and so violent for children?

I was asking around, and non of my mom – friends heard about it, so I called the school staff, none heard about it as well. Just when I started to think that it’s all a dream (a nightmare, you might call it), I watched ” The Good Wife” season 4 episode 8:

Grace telling Alicia about girls cutting. At least I am not the only shocked mom around, thank god. http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/resisting_cutting.html